The Tale of the Trashed Tooth Edition 2

         The Tale of the Trashed Tooth Edition 2
       If you haven't read Edition 1, click here to read it first!!

The summer of Dougy’s 7th year, the family loaded up and took our first road trip to Disneyland. It was such a good vacation and the kids did great in the car. (Of course I made them each a “road trip” binder” filled with crossword puzzles, word searches, seek-n-find, bingo games, ect., not to mention iPads for movies and games). Before we left Dougy had informed me that another tooth was getting loose. I felt it (wiggled it around while he grimaced and squirmed) and it was a little loose (nothing to call home about though). 

Day one at Disneyland was AMAZING (I had never been myself). Dougy did surprisingly well with the crowd and the extreme sensory overload at every angle. He did cling to my side and hold my hand the whole day. My husband tricked me into riding Space Mountain (an all dark roller coaster that shoots out lights as your are twisted and dropped) and said that Dougy could definately handle it, “it isn’t that bad.”  I am not a fan of rollercoasters but of course I wouldn’t leave Dougy because at this point he was cutting off the circulation to my hand. 

SPACE MOUNTAIN ON THE OUTSIDE

So we get all strapped in and off we go into the DARKNESS. Let me just say “IT WAS THAT BAD, IT WAS THAT BAD.”  This ride was so scary because you couldn’t see anything, you had no idea what to expect or how to prepare yourself for every free fall or twist (you could imagine how bad this was for an anxiety ridden child with sensory processing disorder). 

SPACE MOUNTAIN ON THE INSIDE

Dougy clung to me and screamed non-stop, I wanted to scream too but I had to stay strong and just kept saying “this is fun Dougy, don’t worry it’s almost over.” (I probably sounded like a lunatic). Well we survived Space Mountain and as we stepped out of the ride, Dougy clung to me shaking and did not release for about 10 minutes.  You may be thinking, "wow your husband is mean to make ya’ll do that".... but no my friends he was not. After Dougy regained his abilty to stand alone he beamed with pride that he rode SPACE MOUNTAIN. He eventually said "that was awesome!" I on the other hand was still bitter!  After that Dougy was brave enough to ride many other rollercoasters!! 

What does this all have to do with a tooth you ask......I’m getting to it!

So after several rides (my favorites were Thunder Mountain and Splash Mountain) we headed to the big castle (I think it’s Sleeping Beaty’s castle,  I have no clue I have three boys). 

In the middle of this area was a beautiful carousel and I begged the boys to ride it with me. 

As we were walking to it, Dougy stopped holding my hand to eat a snack and started walking behind me. All of a sudden a hear him yell out and I look back just as he’s flinging something off into the garden by the carousel. “Dougy what was that???” He looked at me with a startled expression and said “I just lost my tooth.”   

Then I realized my worst nightmare was being repeated, Dougy THREW AWAY ANOTHER TOOTH. Luckily this time it was in a garden with white rocks, actually it can be better described as a beautiful garden of tiny WHITE pebbles. So by luckily I meant UNLUCKILY. 

Let me reiterate: Dougy hurled his tooth in a state of  shock into a pile of small white rocks. What are the odds???

Dougy started that paniced look and tears began to swell. I quickly announced “Don’t worry I’ll find it” and quickly jumped into action.  I hurriedly started combing through these tiny white rocks in the general vicinity I thought it had landed based on the estimated trajectory of his throw. I was looking for traces of blood, spit, or ANYTHING to help me find this precious tooth (I already didn’t get to keep his first tooth, how could I bare loosing his 2nd tooth??). 

Well sadly I have to report that I DID NOT  find the tooth (again) but I did find a perfect little white rock to pass off as the tooth. So I held the rock in the air and proclaimed  “Dougy I found it.”   His little face (again) lit up and he looked at me with so much pride and relief.  This time I was prepared for his question to “see the tooth” and quickly stated “OH NO! its covered in blood and dirt, I better wrap it up in a napkin until we get back to Grandpa’s.” Before he could say a word, I quickly ran off to the nearest concession stand (probably looking like a lunatic again). 

That night I (again), sealed the “tooth” in an envelope and let Dougy hold it and feel it. Dougy was very worried that tooth fairy wouldn’t find him all the way in California. I assured him that she would (to ease his little worried mind, I had to make up a fake story about how the tooth fairy found me on vacation when I was seven).  I got the boys all settled into bed and made sure I had some cash to exchange for the rock. I decided that I  should put my purse by my bed so I can quickly retrieve the cash to complete my fairy duty later that night. I had a stack of $3.00 (he got an extra dollar for loosing it at Disneyland!) BUT I also had a stack of $12.00 in another pocket. Well somehow in my sleepy haze I grabbed the wrong stack of money and Dougy woke up with $12.00 under his pillow. HIS BROTHERS WERE SO MAD!!! I quickly explained that the tooth fairy must have been so impressed that he lost his tooth near an enchanted castle (tooth fairies like castles right??) and she decided to hive him extra money. 

Dougy was beaming with pride and another disaster was adverted!

So this ends my tale of how I do not have either of my son’s first two teeth as keepsakes (that’s a normal mom thing right??).  This just goes to prove that I will do anything for my children including diving in stinky playground trashes and searching magical kingdoms to find teeth. 

4 groups of 3-- or--- 3 groups of 4?

                        4 Groups of 3 -or- 3 Groups of 4?

Dougy is naturally smart. His little brain operates on factual, systematic data. Things need to be complete in his mind  (i.e. his OCD tendencies).  So as he was learning math I thought he would have NO issues with it. Kindergarten and 1st grade were a breeze for him (simple addition, counting, shapes ect...) but 2nd grade brought on............dun dun dun ...........double digit addition and subtraction (ahhhh!). 


It’s not that he couldn’t get the right answers to these problems, because he often did. The issue was showing his work. You know when you are adding and the you have to carry the ‘1’ over or when you are subtracting 
and you have to borrow 
(see picture on the right).   

Dougy DID NOT like this concept and proclaimed “I don’t need to show my work, I get the right answer SEEEEEE”  His sweet teacher got tired of asking him to do it, so she just let him do it HIS way. 

I discovered this was happening when I was helping him with his homework. He did, in fact, get the right answer but didn’t show his work. I asked him to re-do it and this caused a nervous melt-down. He got upset with me and screamed at me, so I sent him for a time out (or CHILL OUT). It took 3 rounds of yelling and time outs for him to finally sit down and let me show him how to do it. I talked to his teacher about it and told her I wanted him showing the work (because later on it will be important with more difficult problems, right??).

To this day he still HATES showing his work. (Such a silly thing to be so passionate about). His 3rd grade teacher has already spoken to me about this and we are teaming up to enforce the rule!

So now in 3rd grad, multiplication and fractions have unfortunately entered our lives (I say this because I am TERRIBLE at math, sadly I think he’s smarter than me in this area).

Dougy’s issue with multiplication.  I was told that kids on the spectrum think more in pictures. I realized this was probably true during homework one night. Dougy had this problem:  3 X 4 = ?  He very tensely called me over for help and said  “mom, does this mean 
4 groups of 3 or 3 groups of 4???”  I told him it could be either one, and this was UNACCEPTABLE to him. “It HAS to be one mom, I can’t figure it out until you tell me.” 

I concluded that he needed to see the groups in his head to figure out the answer. 

I proceeded to tell him to do 4 groups of 3 first,  then do 3 groups of 4 next and see if they matched. He did this and sure enough they matched (this created a light bulb effect in his little brain).

He continues to struggle with knowing how many groups of numbers he needs to visualize to get the answer, but he's a smart guy so he does it both ways and makes sure it matches. (I tremble at how he will see division.....)

Dougy’s issue with fractions. He totally gets the concept but when he has to divide shapes into equal parts he has difficulty. He envisions things differently and gets really upset when he gets an answer wrong. In his brain he saw it right and CAN’T understand why his teacher doesn’t see it that way. See the example of this below. 
 

Dougy had to be shown how his answer did not make three EQUAL parts. He was attracted to the angles and it just made sense in his brain to do it like this. He later explained that when he tried to do it like the first one, the three parts never looked equal when he drew them. (The angles gave him a a starting and ending point, just computed better up there).

Needless to say, I won't be helping Dougy on his math homework anymore (I thought Dougy's answer above was right too ha ha). My husband has taken over and that's perfectly fine with me! 


Clipart obtained through a paid license through smartysymbols.com

The Tale of the Trashed Tooth Edition 1

Loosing his first couple of teeth was quite a traumatic experience for Dougy. He lost his teeth early so I really hadn’t prepared him for what to expect or what to do if he lost one.  His older brother hadn’t lost any teeth yet either, so our house was void of any tooth fairy experiences. 

One day in Kindergarten.......

I picked up Dougy from his after school program. As soon as he saw me he ran as fast as he could pointing at his mouth. He then told me with all the glee and happiness in the world that he lost his first tooth!!!  I then said “where is it, did you get a tooth box from the nurse?”  His face started to contort in horror and anxiety started rippling through his little body and he asked “what are you talking about??”  I sat down with him and told him that the school will put the tooth in a box to keep is safe until you get home. I asked where the tooth was and tears erupted.  After I got him calmed down I got the story of what happened.

Here is what went down that fateful day......

Dougy lost the tooth at approximately 9:30am, he was so freaked out about it that he held it on the inside of his bottom lip and didn’t tell ANYONE. I asked him why he didn’t tell the teacher and he said “I didn’t want peoples to think I was uh-skusting (disgusting). I asked what he did next and he told me he held the tooth in his lip until  recess (11:00am) and then he threw it away in the playground trash. 

Yes, my child held a tooth in his lip for 1 1/2 hours and threw it in the outside trash!!!   We all know what a playground trash in a public park looks like right??

I told him that you are not supposed to throw away teeth, you are supposed to keep them. Then you put them under your pillow and the tooth fairy will bring you money. He looked at me with that contorted face again and said “you didn’t essplain (explain) that to me.” The tears began to flow once more.

             WHAT SHOULD I DO NOW???

I quickly came to the realization that I was going to have to go dig through that nasty playground trash. It was the only way to save my poor son’s first tooth and let him experience the magic of the tooth fairy. So with Dougy at my side I set off to complete this horrendous mission.

This was NOT...I repeat NOT a good idea!

I will admit that I seriously and whole heartedly looked for that tooth for about 15 minutes and soon came to the realization that I was NOT going to find it. I started to panic because Dougy was watching me with eyes of desperation as I was sifting through juice pouches, chewed gum, cheetos bags, and some sticky substance that I still have nightmares about.  
 

At that moment genius struck me!






I found a tiny tooth-sized rock in the garbage and quickly retrieved it. I then held that rock high in the air and exclaimed “Dougy!!! I found it!!” I  then proceeded to do an over the top victory dance (you know to make it look believable). Dougy’s little face lit up and he started dancing with me.  My celebration was almost thwarted when I heard the dreaded question “Mom let me see the tooth, let me see it!!”  

Panic set back in...............

.....but then genius struck me again (twice in one day, shocking I know)






I replied “Oh no Dougy it is completely filthy with germs and I wouldn’t want you getting sick from touching it.”  Holding my breath and feeling confident because he didn't like germs,  I slowly peered at him and he gloriously said “ewwww okay mom you keep it.” 

YES he bought it! 

We quickly went home and I pretended to wash the “tooth” and then sealed it in an envelope. He was content holding it and feeling his “tooth” through the envelope until it was bedtime. The sweet tooth fairy visited Dougy that night leaving him $2.00 and all was well with the world once more. 

DISASTER AVERTED




If any of you are wondering as to why the title says EDITION 1:   Dougy's 2nd lost tooth had an equally thrilling story behind it involving magic kingdoms and a hefty wad of cash. Stay tuned for The Tale of the Trashed Tooth Edition 2. 

Clipart was obtained by permission through a paid license with smartysymbols.com and clipart.com

The bully thing....

This isn’t going to be a heart wrenching tale of how my son is bullied. He isn’t bullied really and most of the time he wouldn’t realize even if he was. Kids will be kids!

For example: He came home in 2nd grade beaming one day and reported that “the cool kids let me play basketball with them for three days!”  

I told him that was great and asked them what game did they play?? knock-out??    one-on-one??     pig???

His response was....

“Actually when the ball rolled away, it was my job to get it for them”

Sigh...........

 
 I then had to teach him that those children were NOT being his friend and actually were not being very nice. He didn’t understand that. I had to tell him that if they were being good friends they would let him play the actual game with them.  He nodded that he got it and then asked if he could take his own basketball to school.

For the next month, all he did at recess was shoot baskets alone. The teacher called me one day and said “Dougy isn’t sharing his basketball at recess.” Hmmmmmm wonder why!!! I told her I would talk to him and I did. I explained that he needed to share with other kids if they want to shoot baskets with him. He said “oh I didn’t know that” and from then on he let other kids play with him.

So in the case of bullying I am sort of glad that Dougy doesn’t pick up on all of those social cues because it protects him from getting his feelings hurt. On the other hand, it is very important for me to explain these situations to him so he can handle them on his own. 

Clipart was obtained by permission through a paid license with smartysymbols.com

Sticks Are Interesting!!!!

Dougy never ceases to make me laugh. Dougy and I walked to the park last night and had a lovely time playing basketball and walking the dog. On our way home he had a very serious look on his face (this is how I know his little quirky wheels are turning) and proceeded to ask me the following question. 

Dougy: "Mom are sticks Boring?" (in a very serious tone). 

Me: "Well I don't think about sticks, like that"

Dougy: (looking confused as to why I had never thought about sticks like him) "I think sticks are interesting, you can do so many activities with them"

Dougy has always been easily entertained. I have to watch out for "collections" though.  He will start random collections (he has tried to start a stick one multiple times). He has dubbed his room a "museum" and fills it with random pieces of metal or parts of objects that he has found. Oh and he also collects animal bones......yay for me! 

(stick clipart was obtained by permission through a paid license with smartysymbols.com, the eyes and mouth were hand drawn by me!)

Introducing.............

 Dougy's Imaginary Friends
I was told that it is rare for kids like Dougy (literal-minded) to have imaginary friends.   I thought "well that’s nice but we have FOUR alive and well friends at home living with us."

Let me introduce them.

Lightning boy
Dougy use to call himself Lightening boy “I’m not Dougy, I’m.....(dramatic pause) lighting boy” This became and issue so we made him stop (he did it ALL the time). I think this is when Lightning boy morphed from an alter ego to an imaginary friend.  Dougy started playing with Lightning boy, sitting by him on the couch, saving a seat form him at tables ect.... I didn’t think too much because he was 4 years old.

                                                                     
Cowboy
Cowboy turned out to be the favorite, the "GO-TO" friend for Dougy. I later found out that Cowboy went everywhere and the others had to stay at home. Cowboy was "just a guy who wore boots and a hat." (Apparently he was cooler than the rest of them). Dougy liked to wear his cowboy hat so he could relate to Cowboy.                

 
        
          

Speedor
Speedor "is a fast guy." He would come to school only at recess and then go home (remember only Cowboy got to go the whole day). Speedor was always messing with Cowboy, Dougy would have to break up their fights. I use to ask Dougy what they fought about, but after a couple of strange responses I stopped asking!

  
Hunter
Hunter was not around much. He only came to Dougy in “wooded areas” I believe Hunter arrived on our trip to the mountains one summer.  Dougy wouldn't go into any detail about this guy, he was the "mysterious one."

         

          
                           

Dougy use to talk about these guys but not where it was really a problem. I then found out from his 1st grade teacher that he wasn’t playing with kids at school and was always hiding under the slide at recess or swinging alone. I asked Dougy one day about this and he said “I have to hide under the slide to talk to Cowboy, Lightning Boy,  and Speedor so no one else sees.” 

Yep, my son was talking to himself....I mean his “friends” at recess.

I decided to get professional advice on how to handle this because he was now 6 years old. I was told that this was his way of coping with is social issues and it was fine. I totally understood that and it made me think “awww,”  (after that I kind of wanted to hug Cowboy and Speedor, I didn’t like Lightning Boy though and Hunter was never around).

One day in 2nd grade I picked up Dougy from his biological dad (weekend visits, lived about an hour away). We were driving back listening to music or whatever and Dougy all of a sudden yells out “what do you think you are a doctor or something?” I hadn’t said anything and was confused at why he would yell this at me. I asked him why and THIS.....WAS....HIS....REsPONSE......

 “Oh I wasn’t talking to you mom, Cowboy broke his arm at dad’s house and when we got in the car Speedor said he could fix it for him.”  

 Dougy was in fact yelling at Speedor (remember Speedor was the trouble maker)!

There were various other incidents of Dougy blatantly talking out loud to these guys, but I was told not to worry about it. I just told Dougy to not talk with them under the slide anymore.

When 2nd grade rolled around these guys (mainly Cowboy and Speedor) were still hanging out. One of his therapists wanted to try a “Say Goodbye to Our Friends” plan since he was getting older. Well while I was waiting for him, I heard a panicked scream bellow out down the hall and I ran to see what was up. He was in tears and started nervously saying (while slobbering and snotting) “I can’t say goodbye to them, the world will be a sad place without them” “Mom if you make me do this I am going to tell them to hide until my 8th birthday and then I’m asking them back”

Wow, what do you say to that???

 



I decided to defer this issue to the specialist. We met with her and she told Dougy that he can’t talk to them in front of other people but she has no problem with him having them. She said when he is 12 they would talk about it again.  

So now Dougy has his friends but he doesn’t really talk about it anymore. If I ask him he will confirm their presence but becomes nervous, so I just drop it.

So I guess until Dougy is 12, I will have 4 creepy non-existent dudes living with me.  I should include them in our family Christmas photo. 

  Please leave me a comment and let me know if your child has any imaginary friends! I would love to hear stories!

All images and clipart are used with permission and obtained through a paid licence through smartysymbols and clipart.com
 

DOUGY...The Back Story

So I know I said I wouldn’t go on and on about my struggles but the this entry is an inside look at Dougy from birth to 7.

If you do not want to read about some of the challenges, please skip this post!!

Let me just share some of the differences I saw in Dougy from birth to 7 (the time of his diagnosis).

As an infant and a young toddler, he did not like to be thrown in up in the air or held up away from your body.  His whole adorable little body would stiffen and shake. I was a young, single mom in college at the time and I didn’t think much of it.

At 18 months he hadn’t really said his first words (but boys are late talkers...right?) and he just started walking around 16 months. What really started getting me worried is when he started lining up his foam blocks by color and shape (refusing to stack them). Again I just though he was “particular!”  
The next thing he started doing was the clincher.... 
He started lining up my high heel shoes in perfect left to right pairs down the hall. He was OBSESSED with doing this. One day one of my heels (disclaimer: I no longer wear heels, all TOMs and BOBs for this lady) was kicked under the bed. Dougy got all of the pairs lined up perfectly and got down to the last lonely shoe and went frantic looking for it’s match. He couldn’t find it in the closet and threw himself down in a whopping fit of fury. I saw the heel under the bed and quickly retrieved it and showed him. He started what I can only call “nervous laughter,” took the shoe from me, and lined it up by its match. He then went on his merry little way like the world was just made complete. 

At around 2 years of age, his babysitter said she was noticing he had some interesting behaviors (man she was a trooper all of those years!).  He would NEVER eat peas at her house (surprise surprise I HATE peas) but he LOVED cheese. So the babysitter lined up cubes of cheese and peas in a row (cheese-pea-cheese-pea....you get the point) and to much surprise the little guy ate all of the peas when it was arranged in this pattern. I didn’t know what to think and didn’t pursue any testing at that time.  His pediatrician did talk to me about being his speech being a little behind.

Every night I read him stories and we had the same bedtime routine (bath, story, and bed).  I usually stuck to one book every night for a month (I was told that repetition was a good language building technique). One month we read Dr. Suess’s ABC book. I never thought to teach him the ABC song because he was so little and didn’t talk. One day he surprised me and just started naming letters randomly on a puzzle (“q, r, z, t, f, l"). He wasn’t naming them in order, so I tested him. That handsome little fellow knew every letter but could not talk. It was truly amazing!  The next month I read him the Brown Bear books and he started making animal noises (he wouldn’t name the animal but would make the noise).
 
Soon after Dougy’s 2nd birthday I started dating my now husband who really was Dougy’s gateway into adaptability (this will be explained later). He encouraged me to seek out help and we finally had him tested for sensory processing disorder at age 3. 

         Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD, formerly known as "sensory integration dysfunction") is a condition that exists   
          when sensory signals don't get organized into appropriate responses. Pioneering occupational therapist and 
         neuroscientist A. Jean Ayres, PhD, likened SPD to a neurological "traffic jam" that prevents     certain parts of the 
         brain from receiving the information needed to interpret sensory information correctly. A person with SPD finds it 
         difficult to process and act upon information received through the senses, which creates challenges in performing 
         countless everyday tasks. Motor clumsiness, behavioral problems, anxiety,  depression, school failure, and other 
        impacts may result if the disorder is not treated effectively. source: http://www.spdfoundation.net


Here is my definition of SPD: Dougy could not regulate his body when receiving sensory input as well as others.  His flight or fight response was ALWAYS on!  He couldn’t handle tags in his clothes, he walked on his tip toes, he screamed bloody murder if light got in his eyes, he didn’t like people touching him....... there are many more but who wants to read all of that! He had countless meltdowns over this kind of stuff.  His OT (occupational therapist) started seeing him weekly at age 3 and put him on a Sensory Diet (this is not a food thing! ha ha),  they also worked on vestibular, sensory, proprioception, and fine motor skills.

          Sensory Diet:   "The daily total of sensorimotor experiences needed by a person to       
          adaptively interact with the environment.”     -Hanschu        
          Purpose of the diet: To assist child in self regulation. Unusual behaviors may be a result of              poor regulation from the nervous system.        
          Goal: To utilize sensorimotor strategies to attain an appropriate state of readiness (calm alert           state) to learn during the day types of input utilized: vestibular, proprioceptive, oral motor,   
          and tactile source: https://www.autism-mi.org/

My definition of a sensory diet: His OT told us to do different activities throughout the week to help regulate his discombobulated sensory system! This included wearing a heavy backpack (some kids wear weighted vests for this same purpose), carrying heaving things across the room, hand hugs (squeezing his arms up and down to calm him), and other sorts of things. We also started therapeutic horse riding (hippo therapy) and they did a ton of different motor activities while on the horse to work on proprioception and vestibular issues. 


        
         

        Proprioception is the concept of knowing where your body is in space (body awareness) and   
        the ability to safely maneuver around your environment. It also includes the use of  heavy
        work activities and the ability to stimulate the joint receptors.
        source: http://www.nspt4kids.com
    
        The Vestibular System, which is a contributor to our balance system and our sense of       
        spatial orientation, is the sensory system that provides the dominant input about movement   
        and equilibrioception. Vestibular sense provides information related to movement and head 
        position. The vestibular sense is important for development of  balance, coordination, eye      
        control, attention, being secure with movement and some aspects of language development.    
        source: www.spdaustralia.com

Dougy was developing, having continued difficulty regulating himself,  and EXTREME behaviors emerged. My challenge from here on out was deciding “is this a fit of a normal three-four year old or is it a sensory meltdown??”  I just started treating everything like it was a sensory issues and my son NEVER got consistent discipline (I would not let his step dad discipline him.....oh how silly I was). The behavioral specialist taught me that EVERY negative behavior has a consequence EVEN if it was brought on by a sensory issue. 

WHAT?? So punish my baby for having SPD???   

Well no that is not what he was saying. Dougy needed to learn that if the light was in his eye, he could not scream mama and throw a fit. What he could do was go back into a dark room or ask mama to turn the light off. Hmmmm try teaching that concept to a 3-4 year old! This is when I made him a behavioral consequence chart with picture symbols.  (See the photo below of his first one, it was made with a program called Boardmaker). Anyways this started working after many (and I mean MANY) weeks of sticking to it.  



So remember how I said my husband was Dougy’s gateway into adaptability? Let me explain!  Mike (my husband) never treated Dougy any different then his two sons (my lovely step children, who are 7 and 9). He knew that Dougy didn’t like wrestling, being held upside down, or being swung around. That was the EXACT reason he made it a point to do those things every day with him. It was torturous for me as a mother to endure (listening to Dougy scream like you were cutting his toes off one by one as he was being played with) but looking back now, I know it was one of the most influential pieces to him becoming as functional and adaptable as he is.  When the boys were wrestling in the living room, poor Dougy tried to stealthily scale the wall hoping that Mike wouldn’t see him and make him join the brawl. Every time he was caught he would scream and scream and scream (very entertaining to his brothers)! I am happy to report that now he tolerates and sometimes enjoys these kind of things!!
 

The  next step in Dougy’s journey to adaptability was putting him in gymnastics (his OT said it would be great for his vestibular system) and organized sports/activities. His first soccer game he stood on the field looking like his head was going to start spinning and combust. After about 3 or 4 awkward games (his coach was a peach) he started participating and getting into it!! Victory!  The next sport we tried was T-Ball and at this point I decided that I was going to coach his teams for the next couple of years (from 4-6 years old). He did great in T-Ball but would get very nervous and frustrated (had occasional meltdowns but overall he did great!). He also joined a cub scout pack in 1st grade which exposed him to more peers to interact with.

At age 4, along with all of his sensory issues,  imaginary friends starting emerging (by the way I read it was normal at age four). Dougy’s first friend was Lightning Boy (three other friends emerge from ages 5-7 and they still grace us with their presence to this day! ha ha ).  I will introduce these guys in a later post. 



At age 5 he started Kindergarten (he is a summer baby). I decided to start him early because at this point his language was caught up and he had all of the pre-kindergarten skills down (letters, numbers, shapes, colors, writing his name, ect...) His kindergarten teacher was given a heads up about the SPD and he did surprising well in school. His sweetheart of a teacher started “sheltering him” in class and I had to beg her to make him deal with it. For example: Dougy didn’t like carpet time because the other children were too loud, too close, and touched him. He ended up covering his ears and rocking during carpet time. His teacher then told me that she made the whole class whisper and give Dougy space to help him. Ummm that was sweet but NOT what was best for Dougy. I asked her to give him a choice to sit at the back of the carpet away from the other kids or maybe by her but the other students certainly did not have to whisper! She did this and Dougy got used to carpet time (let me say now he can handle it). Dougy was dismissed from OT at this time after 2 years of it. We were to continue his sensory diet and help him at home.

So with school came a new demand on structure and routine. Dougy had difficulty getting everything he needed to do for school done in the morning. (He had to eat breakfast, get dressed, brush his teeth, get shoes on, and get his backpack ready). By the time his brothers were finished he was still zoned out at the breakfast table or sitting on the couch with one leg in his pants. To tackle this issue I  made a visual schedule. This schedule was posted in his bathroom (see picture below) and he checked it many times while getting ready. One day his brother was in the bathroom when it was time for him to brush his teeth. I told him “Dougy why don’t you just get your shoes on since your brother is in the bathroom.” He then went into full panic mode because on his schedule shoes come AFTER brushing his teeth. I soon realized then how rigid my angel was.  My next step to helping him adapt was making a changeable schedule that I purposely changed from time to time to help him adapt to change.  Once he got that down we had an issue with the time it took him to complete all of these simple tasks. His brothers usually took no more than 20 minutes to get ready. Dougy took anywhere from thirty minutes to an hour. So to address this I started using a visual timer for each task (on the iPad). He had a consequence if he didn’t finish the task before the timer ran out. This WORKED!! (thank goodness).

From ages 6-7 as social demands started getting stronger we noticed that he struggled interacting with other kids at school and was often alone at the playground. He did not understand normal boy “teasing,” sarcasm, or jokes.  I resisted getting him tested (because  in the back of my mind I thought, "it's just a sensory thing right??")

I finally decided that I needed to get some more testing done. Dougy was tested with two different assessments that looked at autistic tendencies. Both test showed he exhibited characteristics consistent with a child on the autism spectrum. 
So I said to myself  “ok I am aware that he has tendencies but it still could be related to sensory processing disorder, couldn't it?.” We then started seeing the behavior psychologist again (behavior was a consistent issue). He reviewed the autism test and agreed with the diagnosis.  Dougy started speech therapy soon after to address social skills.  I had heard of a behavioral pediatrician who was an autism expert and looked her up.  I thought to myself “okay if this doctor agrees with the diagnosis.....maybe it is true."  We made an appointment and went to see her.  This first visit was interesting, she was impressed with how functioning he was and how adaptable he seemed. She then praised me and my husband for the work we did with him! (Made me feel validated!).  She then said she confirms the SPD diagnosis (sensory) but didn’t want to diagnose High Functioning Autism yet.  YET???? What does that mean? At that time the doctor ordered a Pragmatic Language Test. 

       Pragmatics refers to the social language skills we use in our daily interactions with others. They       include what we say, how we say it, our body language and whether it is appropriate to the given       situation.Pragmatic skills are vital for communicating our personal thoughts, ideas and feelings.       Children, adolescents and adults with poor pragmatic skills often misinterpret other’s        
      communicative intent and have difficulty responding appropriately either verbally or 
      non-verbally.   source; http://www.therabee.com 

My definition of pragmatic language: Understanding the social world. You have to understand I was Dougy’s social coach everyday (I would constantly prep him for what may happen and how to handle it). So we got the Pragmatic Language testing done.  I was sitting at the clinic while he was taking the test and envisioning his genius answers to the questions. Well it turned out he had a moderate delay in pragmatic language (more than one standard deviation below the norm). I asked the therapist who administered it to review his responses with me and I was shocked that he didn't get some of the social situations presented in the test. (I thought I had prepared him for all of those social scenarios...... guess not!!!!).  The results were sent to the specialist  and she confirmed the diagnosis in September of 2013. 
                       

What did this diagnosis mean???? Absolutely nothing! He was still my handsome, quirky little dude!
 
So now that you know some of the history we can get to posting about the quirky fun stuff. 

Next post----->   Imaginary friends
I live with 4 non-existent creepy dudes! 


This post is about Doug's background is specifically what we went through with him. Please do not use any of this information for informative purposes about any diagnosis or treatment. Seek out professional help if you have questions relating to SPD or HFA.

Clipart was obtained by permission through a paid license with smartysymbols.com